I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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