I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
