He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
