Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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