She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
