big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
