sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
