I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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