no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
