..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
