You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
