So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize