Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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