i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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