Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
