I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize