just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
