Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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