omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
