thus making me awesome and them whores
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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