? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
