so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize