Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
