dude i'm inner monologue high
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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