make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there is puke in my bra ... again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
