Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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