Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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