Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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