there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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