That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have aggressive nipples.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
