Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
