I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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