The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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