well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
