she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
