I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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