some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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