it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
