If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
