dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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