the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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