whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
