A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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