I faked an abortion last night.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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