I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
