maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
