Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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