okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
