I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
