he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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