There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
