It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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