Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize