i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
