i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
