Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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