Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
