Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
