My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i now understand why vodka
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
