How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
