Are we in a gay sports bar?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
