wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
