he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
