Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
