every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
