I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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