State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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