trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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